Anchored

(originally written 10/29/08)

It’s been a really good week. I feel it has something more to do with God continuing to strip more and more impurities from my heart and from my life and deepening my dependence on Him and being anchored in Him, than anything that has actually happened.

Somehow this is coloring everything.This hope thing and being secure in the Lord.

Had a really hard conversation with someone I love dearly last night, yet had a couple other meetings planned after that and was joyful. I was teary in the car but it didn’t wreck my mood or my day.

The joy of the Lord is not contingent on circumstances.

I am experiencing what can only come from the grace of God, the security of knowing and being intimately known by Him. This week and a current theme in the last few months, I have been brought to a place of more and more freedom and peace each day.

I feel lighter.

I am happier.

I am excited.

Things that once bothered me now give me an opportunity to trust God with it. I am not tossed from side to side. He is grounding me. And I'm learning how much I don't have to do anything alone or in my own strength. He is the source of all I need.

My heart is hopeful. My heart is learning to trust and find rest in that security. I feel I’m undergoing a conversion of sorts. Learning what it truly means to live loved.

Hope and the certainty of God’s promises

Hebrews 6:9-20

"A small boat on the ocean rocks and bobs on the tide. When dark storm clouds roll in, it pulls and twists in violent winds. If it is not secured, it can easily drift away in calm waters, or suddenly be dashed in rocks in turbulence. Its anchor, however, holds it firm and keeps it safe. It may not be free from distress, but it is held by a deep and reliable source. So the soul, we now learn, is “firm and secure” (Hebrews 6:19) in the hope God has given to hold it steady."

9Even though we speak like this, dear friends, we are confident of better things in your case—things that accompany salvation. 10God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. 11We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. 12We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

The Certainty of God's Promise

13When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, 14saying, "I will surely bless you and give you many descendants."[a] 15And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.16Men swear by someone greater than themselves, and the oath confirms what is said and puts an end to all argument. 17Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. 18God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. 19We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, 20where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek. - Hebrews 6:9-20

Our Hope: the seed will produce fruit

“Progressive sanctification, that slow process of change into Christlikeness, means, in its simplest form, that we’ve already been made to be in Christ (our justification), we are growing to be in our practice (our sanctification).

This sanctification is nothing less than a guaranteed blossoming of the gospel seed that has been implanted within the soul of every born-again believer (1 Peter 1:23-25). It is not imitation of a personality alien to us, but rather it is the inward renovation of our souls by the power of the resurrected Christ who resides within us. Imagine a natural seed within your heart invisibly germinating, and then extending its tender roots, branching out and growing stronger, becoming more and more entrenched until it finally fills your entire soul. That’s what the seed of the gospel is like within you; it will reproduce the image of Jesus.”

- Because He Loves Me, Elyse M. Fitzpatrick

stop and look

“Stop tinkering with your soul and look away to the perfect One.” - A.W. Tozer

(originally written 10/22/08)

So I wrote this this morning in bible study and am wanting to post a lot more when time allows on this awesome chapter in a book we’re studying. This is probably the first book in a long time I've read that I haven't cared much for, but now on chapter 7, things are starting to resonate... But for now, after an hour long discourse on faith in the bible study group this morning, I wrote my most simplified conclusion in my book:

Faith is a constant moment by moment, circumstance by circumstance

choice

of where to turn my gaze

Myself and my circumstances and trying with all my might to figure out a solution on my own, rely on myself, trying to solve the problem

or to God…

Who will I depend on?

Who or what will I trust?

Who or what will I choose to believe?

“Faith is simply believing God.” – Francis Schaeffer

A.W. Tozer wrote, “Faith is the gaze of the soul upon a saving God… Faith is the least self-regarding of the virtues. It is by its very nature scarcely conscious of its own existsnec. Like the eye which sees everything in front of it and never sees itself, faith is occupied with the Object on upon which it rests and pays no attention to itself at all.”

Streams in the Desert: A Tree that Flourishes

(originally written 10/18/08)

I'm starting a new series called "Streams in the Desert," based on the title of a devotional that has some powerful truths for weary travelers on this journey we call the Christian life. I am finding a new strength in the last couple of months from these streams, the promises of God and God himself I've encountered in the desert. This first post of the series features the beginning of it all at a women's ministry kickoff last month and then I will post random devotionals or verses that have been life-giving streams to me in this once parched land. I feel He has come and nourished my soul, providing living springs where there was once desert.





Psalm 1:1-3. Blessed is the man/woman who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his/her delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he/she meditates day and night. He/She is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he/she does prospers.





Jeremiah 17:7-8. But blessed is the man/woman who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He/She will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.



I learned from the speaker that day that these two passages depict two different streams. (I've shared my answers from my reflection that day and answers provided in the teaching below in italics but feel free to reflect on these questions on your own)



What is the stream in the first passage? Here the stream represents the Word of God… “her delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law she meditates day and night.” The word is feeding it [the tree] constantly… as the tree remains planted near it. Here is the critical point, we must realize we are firmly planted near the source, even in seasons where it seems we are in dry lands.



What is the stream in the second passage? Here the stream represents God himself, our Source. The tree drinks deeply and their soul is nourished, even in times of no rain… and it always bears fruit. We can be thriving women, in every season…



Prayerfully reread the Jeremiah passage and answer the questions below.
Who is the blessed man/woman in this passage? The one whose confidence is in the Lord… who trusts the Lord despite the circumstances… who doesn’t forget the Lord in times of difficulty or drought and freak out that they have got to figure it out on their own… but who sends its roots by the stream, whose roots drink deeply from the Lord.



This woman can drink deeply, even when there is no rain.



What does the passage say about?



The roots-Sends its roots by the stream… reaches out to the life-giving source… our thirsty souls… to be fed daily by being close to the Lord, to drink deeply… planted by the water.



The leaves –Its leaves are always green… despite the season, despite the circumstances



The fruit –Always bearing fruit, even in times of drought or difficulty



The stream –The stream is what is sustaining it.



Draw a picture of the tree described in the passage in Jeremiah. Then we had to draw ourselves as the tree. Then they asked the following questions. How would you draw YOU as a tree right now at this point in your life (basing it on your spiritual health or state right now? What is the health, or “flourishing” of your tree? Are we next to it? Are we connected to it? Are we flourishing? Do we feel we are withering? What is the promise found in both of these passages? What do we need to do in order to receive this promise?



We did this exercise in a bible study in a women’s ministry I’m a part of. It was powerful. I mean, how many of us can relate to needing that stream in the desert? I have loved this imagery as I have found how God has come and filled this parched land with springs day after day that I have hardly forgotten I am in desert. But my job is to remember that I am firmly planted next to Him and allow Him to sustain me constantly, so that the way I see and live my everyday life, in the mundane tasks, he is glorified.



He has been my stream in the desert, as well as His word which I’ve come to treasure. I heard someone talk about a book called Streams in the Desert, which is actually a devotional, but it reinforces a lot of these themes I’ve just begin to explore in the last month.
I want to be a woman who is like that tree planted by the water… whose leaves are always green.



Those last few words really stuck out to me because as I can see in my life, even this summer which I would describe as the hardest part of the “desert” season, as we’re connected to the source, even in times of drought, we are nourished. We do not fear when heat comes, we never fail to bear fruit. These are rich promises I was refreshed to read in Jeremiah 17 and rich promises that have allowed me to be sustained not by the promises along, but by the Promiser.

voice

(originally written 10/15/08)

Sometimes we need nothing more than to hear the voice of God.

It is a voice that calms all fears and inner chaos.

It is a voice that breaks through my racing thoughts and anxious heart.

“In the silence of the heart God speaks.”

The process of getting completely still and silent before God is something that takes work. It takes an intentional effort of calming myself down and making it a priority to sit still long enough for the one part of my day that is most crucial, yet the getting there I’m tempted to believe I can put it off, or that I can wait till later, or that I will be fine.

Every time I enter into his presence through in silence and am completely alone and away from distractions, my soul is at ease.

His presence is something we can continually experience throughout the day. But nothing is more precious than those moments where it’s just you and God and where you shut up long enough to let Him speak. And it is there again that worlds collide and we're confronted with the sufficiency of Christ.

Today He said something to my heart, it was in the middle of my rambling prayer about all these things that I know God is acutely aware of but that I needed to get off my heart when I just sat there bowed, laying myself at his feet, when I heard those words…

“You know I’m going to take care of you, right?”

And I immediately remembered who I was talking with.

It was the voice my Father. A voice strangely more familiar and comforting than any voice I have heard audibly. It was the familiarity and gentle authority of His voice that put me at rest.
A voice that reminds me that I am not alone. I am not forgotten. I don’t have to do this on my own. And that I seen, known, loved and chosen. A voice that calls out to us as we're out to sea and reminds us that He is here. It is a voice that gently takes you by the hand again, and simply says, do not be afraid.

My intimate relationship with the one who raised me and has walked with me every step of my life. Of the one who knows me more than I do, who has more stake in my life and well-being than anyone else. Who loved me from the beginning of my life simply because of who I am and who he created me to be. He loved me and was pleased with me long before I ever “was” anything in this world. In His eyes, I am the beloved, with who He is well pleased.

When I dare to be powerful

(originally written 10/10/08)

"When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid"- Audre Lorde

“Do you ever get nervous about all of this? Because I totally see your calling and totally see it now, 5 years from now, 15 years from now…” and as she asked me that, I admitted, sometimes it freaks me out.

These women who are fueling and sharpening my vision and wanting to help me do it and see it to the next level and get trained and equipped to do it on a larger scale.

And then I come to moments where it’s scary because it is so much larger than me. But at the same time that fear is also exciting. Make sense? Kinda.

God has given each of us a kingdom vision that is much larger than ourselves, for our lives are in the context of something so much bigger and greater.

And I’m finding the days or the moments when I am afraid are few and far between, for as my boy Brennan Manning says, “God’s grace always precedes his call.” All the grace I need for each next step is already there, given.

‘The one thing we owe absolutely to God is never to be afraid of anything.’ His (Charles de Foucauld’s) unflinching trust in the love of God morphed into humble confidence that the grace for the next step in the dance of life was already there, given. Without anxiety, Abba’s children move forward, knowing that the next and the next and the next steps will take care of themselves.”- B. Manning

The Map

(originally written 10/10/08)

I have a mentor.

And lots of women I look up to.I am so grateful.I have been praying and wanting this for years in the absence of my last two mentors moving away.And now God has provided three key women that are involved and desire to be in my life in different capacities. I asked for one, I got three. God always takes care of us. Sometimes I think only I want that type of relationship. But they have reinforced the truth I so easily forget that mentoring and discipleship is a two way street. It’s about relationship. And the thing that floors me is they are just as excited and interested in me as I am in them. They are longing to for a young woman in their lives as I am longing for older women.

There is an excitement with new relationships, new worlds opening up, a new set of life experiences, their stories, all to be shared and learned from.And I’ve been praying specifically for this and God blows me away. Because of my personality and how I’m wired, I’ve desired women in my life again who are “movers and shakers.”



I think somewhere along the way I started believing the lie that once I get married my personal ministry and things I love doing would come to an end. That I would spend all my waking hours serving my husband and supporting the ministry work he is doing.



That I would be completely lost and take on his life.



And that does NOT get me the least bit excited about marriage.



Yes, I will learn to die to myself and I believe marriage is going to be great for me to learn how to fully love and serve someone else, but I am meeting women who are calming all my fears.They are leading large women’s ministries at thriving churches in town. They are starting companies, starting children’s homes, starting missions organizations, teaching college students. They are wives, they are mothers, they are workers, they are loving others, they are out there making a difference and transforming the world around them. They are not in the shadows.They serve their husbands but not to the detriment of who God has made them and called them to be.



This is so beautiful to see.These are women that I have been praying for that I look at and am like, I want to be you in 10 years. Or 20 years. Or 30 years.



And they’re real. I can’t put them on a pedestal because they are honest with who they are and their real life struggles.It is beautiful and it is freeing.



I feel like these last few months I’ve been entering “womanhood.”I’ve gone to my first “women’s ministry” things and am a part of “women groups.”I’m not the kid, but an active part. I have a place in their lives just as they do in mine.



I somehow thought I would have nothing to offer. But they all love having someone younger around who loves God and has a "fresh perspective." I feel the same about them.



Sometimes it’s amazing how the Lord works. Again and again we see this is scripture and we see it in our own lives. We ask God for things and he far surpasses our requests. Today Granny Pam of Granny’s House spoke at a women’s group I go to. She talked about how important a mentor is in a child’s life and during her slideshow a picture of her husband and a young boy studying a map came on the screen. She said the funny thing is when they were putting the slideshow together and when they took the picture they were not thinking this, but landed on how fitting that picture was.



A mentor has a map, she said, and serves as a guide in that child’s life. Life is a maze and a mentor helps the child guide through the twists and turns without bumping into wall after wall. Mentoring is like studying a map together.



I missed that. I grieved and longed for that so much in the last couple of years, of having an older woman in my life to help me navigate through the forest when all I can see is the bark on the trees five inches from my face.I have had older men and father figures still serving in this role, but there is nothing like connecting with the heart of a woman.



God is faithful.I am so grateful. Even when I will think he has forgotten, two years later, he brings fulfillment.

Walking with God

(originally written 9/30/08)

Narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” – JESUS (MATT 7:14)

You have made known to me the path of life. – KING DAVID (Ps. 16:11)

"What is discipleship?

On the other hand, there is what we have come to accept as discipleship. A friend of mine recently handed me a program from a large and successful church somewhere in the Midwest. It’s a rather exemplary model of what the idea has fallen to. Their plan for discipleship involves, first, becoming a member of this particular church. Then they encourage you to take a course on doctrine. Be “faithful” in attending the Sunday morning service and a small group fellowship. Complete a special course on Christian growth. Live a life that demonstrates clear evidence of spiritual growth. Complete a class on evangelism. Consistently look for opportunities to evangelize. Complete a course on finances, one on marriage, and another on parenting (provided that you are married or a parent). Complete a leadership training course, a hermeneutics course, a course on spiritual gifts, and another on biblical counseling. Participate in missions. Carry a significant local church ministry “load.”

You’re probably surprised that I would question this sort of program most churches are trying to get their folks to complete something like this in one way or another. No doubt a great deal of helpful information is passed on. My goodness, you could earn an MBA with less effort.

But let me ask you: A program like this—does it teach a person how to apply principles, or how to walk with God? They are not the same thing. Change the content and any cult could do this. I mean, Gandhi was a remarkable man, so was Lao-tzu, Confucius, or Thomas Jefferson. They all had principles for a better life. But only Christianity can teach you to walk with God.

We forfeit that birthright when we take folks through a discipleship program whereby they master any number of Christian precepts and miss the most important thing of all, the very thing for which we were created for: intimacy with God.

There are, after all, those troubling words Jesus spoke to those who were doing all the “right” things: “Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you’ “(Matt 7:23). Knowing God. That’s the point.

You might recall the old proverb: “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” The same holds true here. Teach a man a rule and you help him solve a problem; teach a man to walk with God and you help him solve the rest of his life.

Truth be told, you couldn’t master enough principles to see you safely through this Story. There are too many surprises, ambiguities, exceptions to the rule….Only by walking with God can we hope to find the path that leads to life. That is what it means to be a disciple. After all—are we “followers of Christ”? Then by all means, let’s actually follow him. Not ideas about him. Not just his principles. Him."

- Excerpt from Waking the Dead, Eldredge

"The poorest man in the world is a man without a dream"

(originally written 9/24/08)

That quote grabbed my attention.

It was towards the end of a brochure from The St. Louis Dream Center, a place that is truly being Christ in the heart of inner city St. Louis.

I just told a friend tonight that after talking with people and touring The Dream Center and Mercy Ministries today, it was like walking into a dream.

Both places encompass the long-term vision and dreams God has put on my heart and that He has been revealing to me slowly over the last four years.

Lives transformed. Hope restored.

Mercy Ministries is a home for teen girls and their mission is to help young women find freedom from various life-controlling issues such as drug and alcohol addictions, eating disorders, self-harm, unwanted pregnancies, physical and sexual abuse and depression. They are a national organization, headquarters in Nashville and several campuses throughout the states.

A church that never sleeps…

The lady I met with at Mercy Ministries told me since I also have a desire to do urban/inner city ministry down the road, that I should check out The Dream Center, where her husband is on staff. He’s one of the pastors there and they actually started off at the original Dream Center in LA and then after Joyce Meyer Ministries toured the LA facility, decided St. Louis needed something like it as well.

I don’t even know how to describe the Dream Center. I toured eight different buildings. It is a center but it is a church. As a local church, their vision is to transform the St. Louis community by restoring individuals and families through the love of Christ.

They are serving the community and doing urban ministry 24/7. And the interns and some of the staff live there. As one girl shared with me today, “we live here with the gunshots, with the drug busts, with the prostitution, we see it all and we live it with them.”

Very much what God’s been putting on my heart, to have a center that is in the heart of a city that also functions as the church. The two are not separate. And then, in working with women at The Shelter in Columbia, I’ve had an increasing desire to bridge the gap between the world we don’t see. The disadvantaged that we can so easily insulate ourselves from. I have a desire to live and be a part of their lives, and share that with them, not go home every night to my home in the suburbs. And the more God has been stirring this longer-term dream within, He is stirring my heart for how to start that now, little by little in my own city. How I can be a part of God's plan to connect our church more with the needs of our city.

So today, two separate parts of the dream came alive before my eyes. I was completely speechless after spending an hour at The Dream Center.

And when I drove up this long hill to Mercy Ministries, all of a sudden everything was still.It was so beautiful. And it was awesome getting to see some of the girls that live there and see how this program is truly empowering women to know who they are and to experience the power of God in their lives.

Part of why I was so speechless is I was so full of hope.

Christ has come to this home. I thought as I left Mercy Ministries.Christ has come to this city. I thought as I left The Dream Center.One by one, block by block, He is chasing and redeeming and loving His people, calling each one home.